Advice,  lifestyle,  tips

Are you listening?

EN:

Talking is one of the most common activities throughout our day to day life. Whether it is talking to yourself in the mirror in the morning, as a pep talk, talking to a friend during your coffee break, talking to a client or just talking on the phone, it is clear that we could not go a day without it.

But what happens to the other part of a conversation? What happens to listening? It’s clear you cannot have one without the other, otherwise we could all talk to a brick wall and be just as content.

The act of listening can take two forms, when you think about it. It can be the superficial form, when you are only listening so you can reply- the passive form, let’s say, and then there’s the true form of listening, when you actually pay attention to what the other person is saying, and while you are listening, you are empathetic to their situation and you are truly invested in hearing what they have to say.

Sadly, the first form is the more common than the second one, thus we often find ourselves in situations when we need actual advice, or we need a friendly and useful advice, but all we get is a conversation partner who will only wait for us to finish speaking, so they can reply. And that’s not okay.

Before moving on with your day, and continue doing whatever it is you were doing before you stumbled upon this article, ask yourself  (just yourself, you don’t have to admit anything to anyone but yourself) ”When is the last time I actually took the time to listen to someone who needed listening?”. If you can’t pinpoint it, then make sure you remember to truly listen, next time you have a conversation with someone.

Actively listening doesn’t only mean that the other  person will sense the difference, but it will also help you to properly absorb the information you receive, thus your advice or reply will be more than just an “I don’t know, man..” or “Well, that’s just life”.

 

 So, are you really listening?

 


RO:

Vorbitul este una dintre activitatile cel mai des intalnite in vietile noastre de zi cu zi. Fie ca vorbesti cu tine insati/insuti in oglinda, dimineata, pentru incurajare, fie ca vorbesti cu un prieten in pauza de cafea, fie ca vorbesti cu un client sau pur si simplu vorbesti la telefon, este clar ca nu putem trai o zi fara vorbit.

Dar ce se intampla cu celalalt element al unei conversatii? Ce se intampla cu ascultatul? Evident, o conversatie nu exista fara una din cele doua elementa, altfel am putea, la fel de bine, sa vorbim in directia unui zid de caramida si sa fim multumiti cu rezultatul.

Ascultatul poate lua doua forme, in principiu. Poate fi acea forma superficiala, cand asculti doar pentru a putea da un raspuns dupa aceea – ascultatul pasiv, sa ii spunem; si mai este forma aceea adevarata a ascultatului, cand esti cu adevarat atent la ceea ce are cealalta persoana sa iti spuna, iar in timp ce asculti esti empatic la situatia celuilalt, fiind cu adevarat interesat de discutie.

Din pacate, prima forma este mult mai comuna decat cea de-a doua, motiv pentru care, de obicei ne regasim in situatia in care se intampla sa avem nevoie de un sfat, o parere, dar tot ceea ce primim este un partener de conversatie care doar asteapta ca noi sa terminam de vorbit, ca sa poata raspunde intr-o maniera superficiala. Iar asta nu e ok…

Inainte sa iti continui ziua, si sa continui sa faci ceea ce faceai inainte sa te impiedici de articolul asta, intreaba-te (doar pe tine, nu trebuie sa admiti nimic, nimanui, in afara de tine) “Cand a fost ultima oara cand chiar am ascultat pe cineva?”. Daca ai probleme in a-ti aduce aminte ultima oara cand ai facut asta, fa in asa fel incat data viitoare cand porti o conversatie cu cineva, sa asculti cu adevarat ce are de spus.

Ascultatul activ nu numai ca va fi sesizat de cealalta persoana, dar te va ajuta si sa intelegi situatia in profunzime, astfel incat raspunsul dat nu va mai fi unul generic de tipul “Nasol..” sau “Asa e viata, n-ai ce sa-i faci”.

 

Deci, tu asculti cu adevarat?

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